Dawson State Prison – February 13th, 2012
It’s been a month since I first met some of these inmates. Ordinarily our team hosts events for different prisons throughout the year but during my last prison weekend I was given the opportunity to lead a weekly Bible Study for Dawson State Prison’s faith based corrections program. Since then, I have been meeting with these inmates on a weekly basis.
During my first visit to Dawson I met an inmate named Peter – He had been serving time for some unfortunate decision making in his life, but since coming to know the Lord that had all changed. You could tell Peter was a changed man, and his life and attitude reflected it! Peter was also one of the men who had helped me to disciple “Fox” and “C” during my first visit and he was just the type of man I had been looking for to help me lead these inmates to Christ. So after meeting with Peter for a few weeks, I decided to ask him to help lead a group during our weekly gathering. Peter was much obliged for the opportunity and was excited to share the Gospel with his fellow inmates. I could tell the Lord was going to do some great things through him but little did I know that it would be for me as well.
- “Alright Brother! Let’s get started!” I began.
This week’s theme was reconciliation and decision making. We had just watched an “I Am Second” video of a couple who had been previously divorced over an extra-marital affair and had been reconciled to each through reconciliation with the Lord.
- “So I guess my first question is, what are some of the decisions that you've made in your lives that have led to some negative consequences? And more importantly, where was God in relation to your decision-making?”
Some of the inmates began to speak about some of the decisions that had led them to be incarcerated but were also quick to acknowledge God… well, at least in terms of a supplement, but more on that later…
- “Alright, so what consideration did God play in those decisions?” I began…
Peter was quick to speak up. “None of your decisions matter if they’re not made for the Lord!” he started. “I spent my life chasing after everything I could get my hands on to satisfy my desires and let me tell you, they don’t work!” – I was humbled listening to these words, especially coming from an inmate who had experienced life on a level I could barely even begin to wrap my mind around.
“Crack, methamphetamine, ice, heroin, alcohol and women… he began, "nothing could fill that void!” “And some of you!” he continued – “Some of you are about to get out of here, and you think you have it all figured out… and for others, all you can think about is how you’re going to stay clean and not get locked up again, and maybe that’ll last a day, a month, a year… but eventually you’re going to start worshiping something, and if it’s not God, it’s going to be yourselves!”
“Wow!” I thought to myself. That was real! Peter knows the Gospel and it’s because he’s lived the alternative! But sometimes the alternative to the Gospel is not always as explicit as drugs, sex and alcohol. Sometimes it’s as subtle as pride, or as glaring as adultery. In my experiences, the alternative has always been ‘myself’ as the center of my life and I think that’s why I was so humbled to listen to Peter lead those men through his testimony. It’s so easy for me to extend the Gospel beyond my spiritual gifting as a teacher, to form some identity of importance in lieu of Christ and His acceptance of me. In that case, I tend to make Jesus a supplement to life instead of the Master.
Well, it was about this time that I realized I had the perfect analogy. It’s something I ask my middle school and high school students all the time but often fail to recognize in my own life.
- “Alright fellas, I have a question for you: ‘what’s the difference between oxygen and vitamins?’”
After a few blank stares I began to un-pack it. “Alright, let me explain” I began, “You wouldn’t eat vitamins in lieu of a meal, right? In the same way, God is not a supplement to your life to make you better! He has to be the oxygen, the thing by which all things flow properly and through which you survive!”
I began to speak about decision making and how all dysfunction ensues as a result of making God a supplement instead of the object of every intention.
I quoted one of my favorite passages in Deuteronomy 8 where the Jews wanted to make God a supplement to their riches in the promised-land, but God decided to humble them in the desert first, in order to prepare their hearts to receive those riches.
“And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart – whether you would keep His commands or not. And He humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man does not live off of bread alone, but from every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord.” – Deuteronomy 8: 2-3.
“Some of you are in the desert of prison right now, but ‘freedom’ for you can either be Canaan or back to slavery in Egypt, and it doesn’t take prison to be enslaved!”
After having said this, I began to realize that my statement was just as true for them as it is and had been for me. I guess I had been a little jaded when it came to my own goodness but Peter was quick to expose my hypocrisy when he began to speak about his own experiences. I began to be reminded that he and I are just as sinful as any other Christian and that we are both in desperate need of God’s grace.
My first weekend at Dawson I used the analogy of the prodigal son to witness to some of the inmates, but this week it was the older brother who stood out to me. I had been that older brother too many times! And in a bit of irony, God decided to show me my sin in that moment by using a prison inmate to reveal how I had squandered His gifts for my own purposes.
But then I remembered the Father’s promise, that - ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’”
I was reminded that some of these inmates are just as lost as I once was and continue to be at times and that we all need the Father’s unconditional acceptance, regardless of weather we follow the rules or not.
I also found it a little ironic that I had taught the inmates about God’s rules at the outset of my first visit here and now God was using the inmates to re-teach me my own lesson…
Well it was about this time that Peter smiled and began to thank me for teaching him the Bible Study lesson this week. I just smiled and assured him that he had taught me much more than I had taught him!
